First Page Critique – From the Writers in the Storm Blog

Author Don Massenzio

I chose this month’s first page to explain writing tight. I am a ‘spare writer’, meaning that I cut every unnecessary word, so the read is fast and easy. If a word doesn’t tell the reader something they don’t know in a compelling way, out it goes. I’m not saying that you have to cut as close to the bone as I, but I hope the following example convinces you to trim some unneeded adjectives and ‘filter words’ from your prose. They litter the read – they’re over the top – like the author saying, ‘I really, really mean this’. Your reader trusts that if you say it once, you mean it.

I learn best by seeing transformations in examples, So let’s dig in.

Thank you, brave soul, for trusting me with your work. I hope you find this helpful.

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About Anna Dobritt

Anna Dobritt is an independent eBook author and an indie publisher of RPG PDFs and fantasy maps through Cartography Unlimited for RPGs. She loves to read and write, and lives in Michigan. Anna enjoys watching Dr. Who, both the classic episodes from the 1960s-1980s and the current episodes. Anna has three trilogies in the queue: Ravynwyng Chronicles Universe – Volume 1: The Beginning has been released, and Volume 2: Discovery, is going through the editing and revision process, with plans to self-publish in 2016. Volume 3: Truth is currently being written. Two other trilogies are The Archivist — Lenara Lenquil Adventures, and the Guardian Blades Trilogy. Anna has self-published Volume 1 of the Ravynwyng Chronicles Universe titled The Beginning; three short stories: The Hunter, First Raven, Raven Voice; a novelette titled Raven Flight, and a collection of short fiction titled Whispers from Within. Where the imagination soars on glowing wings! May the words ever flow!
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One Response to First Page Critique – From the Writers in the Storm Blog

  1. Thanks for sharing this, Anna

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